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~hitokage195:iconhitokage195:

One more reason to hate a Monday  
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What's the Point?

Journal Entry: Sun May 11, 2008, 6:18 PM
My life sucks. Everything about it. My grades are dropping. I can't talk to my friend anymore because she isn't in any of my classes and my email address is messed up. Something bad seems to happen to everyone I hang with. My friend insists her life is terrible and sometimes even asks me or our other friends to kill her. Another of my friends is, well...sick...and I'm afraid if I say something he'll be offended and get mad (I don't even know why I'm so worried about that, it doesn't seem like that big of a deal, but still...) My mom and my stepdad aren't getting along and she tells me she wonders why her life is horrible and everyone else's is perfect. My stepbrother had this girlfriend and it turned out she never liked him, and she broke up with him over the phone five minutes before he would've left to go to the school dance with her, and he sat alone in his room crying for two nights. Every pet I ever had died at an early age due to unnatural causes. I used to never cry, but now it seems like I do every night. I try to look for the good in every day, but then I think to myself, "What good is there to look for?" So tell me...What's the point of living if every waking moment of it is painful and you never know if things will get better?
That song, Sadness and Sorrow, I wasn't even looking for it...It just happened to start playing on my iPod.

  • Mood: Miserable
  • Listening to: Sadness and Sorrow
  • Reading: The Amulet of Samarkand

Devious Comments

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*FeralPirate:iconFeralPirate: May 11, 2008, 9:50:31 PM
Life's a real bitch sometimes. You work and work to make things go your way, and out of nowhere, something happens and everything you've built comes crumbling down and turns to ash. To make it through life is like trying to make it through a game that you are playing without knowing the rules, in the dark, with your hands tied behind your back.

sometimes it feels like your stumbling in the dark and have no idea what to do, and you just want it to end. I'm 22 years old Hitokage, and sometimes, I admit, I still feel this way. Sometimes when my own family doesn't believe in me, or like now, when I have nightmares of my exhusband and wake up crying, I just want it to end. But there are reasons to keep playing- if not for the simple fact that ending it soon is considered cheating in this game.

Its hard, but take joy in the simple things. Go to the park and watch the babies and little toddlers play. Plant some flowers and teach yourself how to make them grow. All things that are born, will die. Out of all the pets I have ever had, only 1 of them died of old age, and I only had her for 3 years. Read old books like The Old Man and the Sea, or Moby Dick, Hamlet or other Shakespearian articles. Pick up a paint brush pr a pencil and just draw or paint out your anger, sorrow and whatever emotion comes out.

just dont quit. You'll find beauty somewhere- books, movies, music, anything. Mine's the sky, in the middle of the night. When everything gets too heavy to carry, I just lay outside on my lawn and watch the sky. If you dwell on the neagative, only negative will happen- Do you go to church? Because praying helps. Try not to get burdened down by the bad, thats when you get these thoughts.

good luck kiddo.

--
If you always do what you've always done; then you'll always get what you always got!

Ciao-Ciao

FP
~hitokage195:iconhitokage195: May 12, 2008, 1:14:09 PM
You're right. Sometimes it's just really difficult to look at anything in a good way. I try really hard to...Thank you for your wise words of wisdom, O Wise One.

--
Never use a drug that sounds like a part of your body.

/ \
0_0 Paste Zim in your signature to help him conquer Earth.
/_\

When I have trouble making a decision, I just ask myself, WWLD? (what would L do?)
~Cornelious-Raidon:iconCornelious-Raidon: May 12, 2008, 2:45:18 PM
Nothing in life is so bad that you should wish yourself to be no more. Sure life is bad. People suck. Things happen. I happen to be one of those people that has bad things happen to them, sure I cry, I feel sad like any other human being, but that doesn't mean I would want my life to end. and of course, thoughts come to me y'know, "Who cares if I live or die?"but the thing is, even if you don't think it, there are people who don't wish to lose and will truly miss you if they do. If anyone, I care, I don't wish harm to any human being. I, too, often find myself wondering what good there is to look for? Even though I have these thoughts I never give up I keep on going no matter where life takes me.

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Life requires actual work so I think I'll take a view days off...

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*FeralPirate:iconFeralPirate: May 12, 2008, 6:45:03 PM
wise- HA! If i were wise, I wouldnt have gotten married at 21 and divorced before I turned 22...

--
If you always do what you've always done; then you'll always get what you always got!

Ciao-Ciao

FP
~Donpond:iconDonpond: May 13, 2008, 3:23:55 PM
.....................................................................:D

--
this is the life you see, the devil tips his hat to, I do it all becaus I'm Evil, and I do it all for free, your tears are all the all I'll ever need.